There are few activities as contrary to my nature as going on a shopping spree but each Christmas I somehow find myself in a shopping mall putting up with hordes of humans, the glitzy decorations and those awful muzak versions of Christmas songs. I go with her, you know, my wife.
My wife has incredible focus when she shops and she stares at potential presents with these somnolent glazed eyes. It's like she’s standing up in her sleep. Then she'll suddenly pounces on an item like a rattler springs upon its victim. It's momentarily frightening.
Should I address her while she's shopping over the holidays I can’t even be sure whether she’s heard me and whenever she does answer it’s almost as if she’s speaking gibberish or another language. Sometimes my wife even sounds ill.
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